


pays in spades

by trash_princess



Category: Naruto
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-17
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-05-07 04:43:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5443709
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trash_princess/pseuds/trash_princess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>No one is supposed to know the details of S-rank missions. </p>
<p>Therefore, of course, everyone in the missions room knows the details of S-rank missions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pays in spades

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pentapus](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pentapus/gifts).



> i hope you enjoy this!! after spending so much time writing poetry, sitting down and writing a proper fic was a little difficult, but i'm pleased with how it came out and i hope you're pleased by it too!!
> 
> title is from the song "i can't figure out what's going on" by half moon run, which to me is a very kakashi-ish song, so. it has little to do with the fic itself, i think, but....i also think it fits, in a strange way. well!

No one is supposed to know the details of S-ranked missions. 

Therefore, of course,  _everyone_  in the missions room knows the details of S-ranked missions.

It's unofficially official; people are curious as to where their loved ones are being sent, how long they'll be away, what they'll be doing when they're gone. People are curious about village politics in general, and sometimes, they're not above taking a peek at mission details.

———

Iruka, of course, is no exception--he likes to know what's going on, especially when it comes to the welfare of the village. 

(Anko laughs at him and tells him it's because he's a nosy bastard. He snorts in response.)

Still, when it comes down to it, he knows exactly where everyone will be, what they will be doing, and how long they'll be there when he hands out assignments. Sometimes it's fun—he can just picture the look on Naruto's face when he gets another escort C-rank mission—but other times, it's not fun at all. 

Like the mission he's currently handing out to Kakashi-sensei. 

"Iruka-sensei," Kakashi greets, and he holds out his hand for the mission scroll. Iruka places it in his palm, smiling easily, as if he doesn't know that Kakashi is being sent to gather information and then kill the informant once he’s done. He looks up at Kakashi and tries not to feel guilty. It's not like this is the first S-rank he's been sent on; besides, Iruka was the one who was curious enough to peek at the mission details. He’s only got himself to blame for the knot in his chest. 

"Good luck, Kakashi-sensei," Iruka says. "Please do your best."  

Kakashi tucks the scroll in the pocket of his flak jacket and waves lazily as he walks away.

———

A little over week later, Kakashi returns to the missions room. Iruka had peeked, again; he tells himself it's because it's professional curiosity and not because he wants to see the kind of missions Kakashi, specifically, is sent on. This time, he knows Kakashi is being sent on a month-long recon mission. No planned assassinations, thankfully, but Iruka's not so naïve as to think that there will be no killing. 

He finds himself worrying. 

He hands Kakashi the scroll, looking up into his curved, lidded eye, and blinks, suddenly feeling the urge not to give Kakashi the scroll. It's ridiculous, he knows, but he feels it anyway, hesitating for a split second before holding out the scroll to Kakashi. If Kakashi notices, he doesn't say anything; he offers Iruka a polite smile from underneath his mask before turning away.

Iruka watches him leave before snapping back to himself and picking up a new scroll, busying himself with his work to distract himself from the growing, gnawing feeling inside of his chest.

"Next!" 

———

He meets up with Anko a few days later, for drinks; she wiggles her eyebrows at him as he slips into the stool beside her. He tries to ignore it. He knows that that look on her face does not bode well for him.

"How're the missions going?" Her voice is blunt and husky and baiting; Iruka rolls his eyes, not rising to it. He orders his drink, sighing.

"Fine," he says, and Anko's eyebrows raise.  

"Just fine?" She sips at her drink, not taking her eyes off of him the entire time. She takes the straw between her teeth and bites down. "Come on, I know you know everything about those missions. What's the latest gossip?" 

"There is no gossip," he sniffs. Anko rolls her eyes, elbowing him in the side. 

"Cut the prim and proper bullshit, will you? I know you're the nosiest out of all of 'em." She leans forward on her elbows, eyes glittering. "I know a lot of S-ranks have been passed out lately. I know Kakashi's been sent on a lot of 'em. What are they about?" 

At the mention of Kakashi, Iruka's hand tightens on the bar. There's been mild correspondence coming through, mostly messages for Tsunade; from what he's seen, none of it has been good, and the ball of worry he'd initially felt has grown and grown with each hasty, clipped scroll. Anko's eyes flicker down, catching the movement of his hands, and a grin—slow and syrupy and Iruka  _does not_  like that expression on her—curls across her face. "Oh, Iruka," she purrs, and Iruka steadfastly does not meet her eyes. "Are you worried about Kakashi?" 

"No," he lies. "He's a good shinobi. He can take care of himself. I don't know why we're having this conversation." 

"Iruka," she croons again. "If you're that worried, stop giving him S-ranks." 

"What?" 

"Stop giving him S-ranks. I dare you." Her eyes are alight with mischief. "Give him C- or B-ranks for a month." 

"That's ridiculous," he says, but he's already thinking of non-lethal missions, and the look in Anko's eyes means that she knows that she's won. She sits back in her seat and takes a long, slurping drink through her straw. "Ridiculous," he insists, and she just grins. 

———

When Kakashi comes back, finally, he looks a bit thinner. Iruka finds himself wondering when the last time he ate was. 

"Iruka-sensei," Kakashi greets, and he still manages to plaster a curvy-eyed smile on his face; Iruka feels his face flushing and he hands out the scroll quickly in an attempt to cover it. A C-rank escort mission. Kakashi takes it and blinks. Iruka puts on his best poker face. Kakashi stares at him for a minute longer before tucking the scroll into his flak jacket and scratching the back of his head, inclining his head slightly. "Well, Iruka-sensei, I'm off," he says, slowly, as if he's waiting for Iruka to hand him his  _actual_  mission. Iruka just smiles up at him and hopes he doesn't look too embarrassed, or too guilty.  

"Good luck," Iruka says back, and Kakashi nods slowly. He blinks again, still looking at Iruka speculatively, before turning and walking away.

Iruka sags down in his seat and sighs. He wonders how long he can get away with this before something blows up in his face.

———

Kakashi soon becomes a focal point of Iruka’s thoughts—as if he wasn’t already.

He’s everywhere, it seems. When Iruka is going laundry. When he’s doing his academy lectures. When he’s  _grading homework_ , for fuck’s sake. He puts down his pen and sighs, running his hands through his loose hair in frustration.

It’s not like Kakashi isn’t already a focal point of the village, anyway—the mysterious copy-nin, with his wild hair and his slouchy attitude and his incredible record. Iruka chews on his lip, looking back down at the papers full of drawings of colored chakra pathways and tries his best not to let himself get distracted any more than he already is.

( _It’s not like Kakashi is unattractive, either,_  a little part of his mind pipes up, but he’s quick to squash it down. He’s not some genin with a crush, he tells himself, but in the back of his mind hears Anko snicker.)

Kakashi’s C-rank should be finished, and he should be back in the missions room tomorrow. Iruka picks up his pen.

———

“Kakashi-sensei,” Iruka greets. It’s already been a few weeks of C- and B- ranks, and he’s pleased to see that Kakashi looks more rested now than he ever had, at least in Iruka’s memory.

“Iruka-sensei,” he says slowly, and Iruka can see him smile awkwardly underneath the mask. His heart  _does not_  flutter, he  _does not_  have a crush. “I was wondering if you were free today, when you’re done here.”

Iruka had already been halfway reaching to pick up a scroll when his entire thought process stops, all fleeting notions of crushes disappearing and being replaced with shock. He looks up at Kakashi and is fairly sure his jaw must be open, and snaps it shut quickly. “ _What?_ ”

“You.” Kakashi shifts his weight, looking a little embarrassed, and he scratches the back of his head. “If you’re not, it’s fine.”

“I.” Iruka blink, and feels heat creep up the back of his neck. He clears his throat.  _Not a genin with a crush,_  he reminds himself, but his voice is still a little choked when he says, “Yes. I am.” He clears his throat. “You might be waiting a while.”

“I’m patient.” Kakashi smiles lopsidedly underneath the mask, and Iruka’s heart stutters just the tiniest bit. “I’ll see you then, eh?”

“Yes,” Iruka replies, still struggling to speak, and he nods jerkily. Kakashi nods and shuffles away, and Iruka is left staring at his back until the next shinobi in line clears their throat and he is dragged back to the present. He hands the scroll to them, a little dazed, eyes flickering to the door.

“Please do your best,” he says, and he smiles a little.

———

Kakashi is waiting outside of the building when Iruka finally leaves; he’s not sure whether Kakashi had been standing there the whole time or if he just had good timing, but Kakashi inclines his head at him and Iruka stops thinking about logistics pretty quickly.

“Hello,” Kakashi says, and Iruka smiles, tightening his ponytail.

“Hi,” he says back, and he pauses for a moment, both of them just looking at each other. Iruka clears his throat and scratches the bridge of his nose. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“Oh.” Kakahi looks a little embarrassed, and smiles a little guiltily. “Maybe just a walk.”

“That works,” Iruka says, and they take off together. The sun has long since set, and the lamps illuminate the streets, shopkeepers closing up their stores for the night as Iruka and Kakashi pass by. Iruka looks over at Kakashi and the way the lamplight catches his hair and throws his cheekbones into sharp relief, and swallows hard, because Kakashi is looking at him too. He smiles, the mask dimpling around his cheeks and his mouth.

“Thank you for coming out with me tonight,” he says, and Iruka nods, his face flushing.

“It’s my pleasure,” he says, and Kakashi rubs the back of his head.

They walk around most of the village; Kakashi is surprisingly pleasant to talk to, and nothing like what Iruka imagined he’d be like—more soft-spoken and awkward than suave or cool, and Iruka finds it endearing. The backs of their hands brush as they walk, and the way Kakashi’s ears go pink above his mask makes Iruka rethink his whole genin-with-a-crush thing.

They end up outside of Iruka’s apartment well after the village has already darkened down and gone quiet. They look at each other for a moment, until Kakashi clears his throat and looks away.

“Have a good night, then,” he says, and Iruka nods. Kakashi smiles at him again, ducking his head once, and turns and ambles away.

Iruka watches him go before fumbling for his keys, strangely giddy, and goes inside.

———

The walks become a thing.  _Their_  thing, Iruka likes to think privately, because the more it happens the more it feeds his not-a-genin-crush on Kakashi.

The fifth time they go out, Iruka dares to grab Kakashi’s hand. Kakashi looks down at their hands in surprise but doesn’t pull away, and Iruka’s heart thumps in his chest when he feels gloved fingers wrap around his own. Kakashi's fingertips are warm and calloused from years in the field. They hold hands all the way back to Iruka’s apartment.

The time after that, when Iruka leans up to kiss Kakashi’s cheek, Kakashi tilts his head just slightly, his cheeks flushing pink. "Goodnight," Iruka says, smiling up at him, and it takes Kakashi a moment to speak. Iruka can see his jaw working underneath his mask. 

"Goodnight," he says, and beats a hasty retreat.

———

The next day, Iruka sits at the missions desk, his fingers clenched tightly around a new scroll. 

An S-rank. Specifically for Kakashi. 

He hadn't read this one; he didn't want to know what Kakashi would be getting into this time. He didn't want to have to see how long he'd be away for or what he'd be doing; it would just make him worry more. _You knew it was a bad idea to get attached to him like this,_  the annoying little voice in the back of his head tells him.  _Shut up_ , Iruka replies, but he knows it's his fault; he lulled himself into a false sense of security, let himself live inside this little perfect bubble, and now he's paying the price for it.

He hands the scroll to Kakashi and has trouble meeting his eyes.  _Don't think about it, don't think about it, don't think about it._  "Good luck, Kakashi-sensei," he says, and clears his throat, finally looking up at him. Kakashi's dark eye is lidded; he takes the scroll and nods. He looks every inch a shinobi about to go on a dangerous mission, and Iruka stares at him for a few moments more. "Please do your best." The words come out almost mechanically. Kakashi nods. 

"Thank you," he says, and when he turns to go, Iruka's chest aches. 

———

Kakashi is gone for three months. 

When Iruka gets news he's finally returned—to the hospital, no less—he can't get there fast enough. 

——— 

When Iruka comes into the room, Gai and Tsunade are already there. Kakashi is lying in the bed and looking as white as the sheets, but he's not unconscious, and Iruka counts that as a victory. 

"Iruka-sensei." Tsunade looks him over, her honey-brown eyes unreadable. Iruka straightens his back; Tsunade's eyes flicker down to Kakashi and then back to him, and for an instant the smile that flashess on her face is too close to Anko's for comfort before she schools her expression back into something more stern. She nearly rolls her eyes, her nails tapping on the clipboard in her hands.

"He's alright," she says aloud, both to Gai and to Iruka--and Iruka has the sneaking suspicion she's doing it to annoy Kakashi, too. "Shot his chakra pathways to shit and overused the Sharingan, but what else is new." 

Kakashi smiles thinly from the bed. Tsunade sighs.

"Anyway," she continues, propping the clipboard on her hip, “you need to heal up quick, Hatake. We can't have our best out of the field for long.”

Iruka’s throat burns with the desire to protest, but Kakashi just nods, his eyes serious and and intense despite the purple shadows underneath them.

“Of course,” he says easily, and his voice is as dry as ever but there’s a steel undercurrent to it that makes Iruka’s stomach twist. He looks down at his hands, not wanting to meet anyone’s eyes, and with a clearing of her throat, Tsunade sweeps out of the room, the clicking of her high heels on the floor behind her resonating with finality. The door shuts.

Gai looks over at Iruka, and flashes him a winning smile. “Iruka-sensei,” he says confidently, shooting him a thumbs-up and a wink. “It is so good to see you—Kakashi had been talking about you for days!”

Kakashi, if it’s possible, sinks even further into the mattress. Iruka’s ears go pink.

Iruka clears his throat. “Had he,” he says weakly, not quite meeting Kakashi’s eyes as he looks over at him. Gai is entirely oblivious, his grin wide and bright, and Iruka scratches the back of his head awkwardly. Gai opens his mouth to speak again—Iruka braces himself for declarations of youth and the promising bud of fresh love, or something—but Gai abruptly shuts his mouth, an unusually contemplative look in his eye as he gets up. He nods to Kakashi, then crosses the room and claps Iruka on the shoulder hard enough to send him stumbling forward a few steps.

“Have a good time,” he says with a wink, and then he’s out the door. Iruka is sure he’s the picture of embarrassment; Kakashi, however, looks absolutely _mortified_ , his ears pink under the handkerchief wrapped around the bottom half of his face.

———

“Iruka-sensei,” he says, at the same time Iruka blurts out “I was worried about you.”

Kakashi’s fair eyebrows raise and he clears his throat. “Were you,” he says, and his voice is a bit muffled. Iruka scratches at the scar over his nose nervously.

“I was,” he says, and he takes a seat by Kakashi’s bedside. Kakashi watches him the entire time; Iruka still has trouble meeting his eyes. “You were gone for quite a while, and then to be returned to the hospital…”

“I’m sorry,” Kakashi says, sounding a little sheepish, and Iruka shakes his head.

“Not just this time,” Iruka continues, staring down into his lap. His hands are gripping his knees. “Every S-rank. Like the one you went on and came back thirty pounds thinner. Or the one where you had burns all over your arms, or the one where…” he trails off, too embarrassed to continue, and Kakashi’s silence is heavy. “Anyway—” Iruka looks up at him, and is surprised to find Kakashi looking at him intently, his dark eye wide. From this close, Iruka can see that his eyelashes are as pale as his hair and very long. He clears his throat. “Anyway, I just—am glad to see you’re safe, Kakashi-sensei.”

Slowly, a hand covers his; he almost jumps, looking up at Kakashi with shock written on his face. Kakashi is firmly looking everywhere but at Iruka, the tips of his ears pink again. “I’m sorry that I missed our walks,” he says eventually, and the weight of his bare hand on Iruka’s is a warm one. “I…would like to go on them again. Soon. If that’s alright with you.”

Iruka blinks at him for a moment, before slowly turning his hand over and wrapping his fingers around Kakashi’s own. “It’s very alright with me,” he says, and he sees Kakashi’s eyes crinkle as he smiles.

———

The next time Kakashi is in the missions room, Iruka has another S-rank for him. A very important S-rank, one that he may or may not have sneaked the Hokage’s seal out in order to make, and one he had checked thoroughly beforehand.

_Do you want to go to dinner with me? Officially,_  the scroll says, and when Iruka hands it over he watches as Kakashi reads it. Kakashi looks back up at him sharply, and Iruka can't help the grin that spreads across his face at the mild look of scandal in Kakashi's eye. 

"Did you steal the Hokage's seal to ask me on a date?" It comes out as more of a statement, Kakashi's voice low in either disbelief or delight—Iruka can't really tell—and Iruka scratches the bridge of his nose. 

"Well, it is a very important S-rank," he says, and he looks up at Kakashi. "Besides, I checked this one specifically. To make sure it was right for you." 

"You did, hm?" 

"I did." 

"Well." Kakashi pockets the scroll and scratches the back of his head. "I suppose I better do my best then, hm?" 

"You should," Iruka says, still grinning. "I get out of here at seven." 

Kakashi's mask pulls around his mouth as he smiles back; Iruka can see that the curve of his cheek right above his mask is red. "I'll be there." 

He turns and ambles away, and Iruka watches him go with warmth swelling up in his chest. He looks back down at the scrolls in his hands and sneaks a peek at the next one—a D-rank mission to retrieve the daimyō's wife cat. Whoever has this one next is going to hate him. His grin grows wider. 

"Next!" 

 

**Author's Note:**

> and seven and a half pages later, it's done, ehehe!! <3 thank you for sticking with me to read it!!


End file.
